The feedback I get about my blog has been interesting.
Most folks are super supportive and tell me about what they relate to in the blog. You know what else though? Haters gonna hate. My entire life, I’ve had haters. I think most people do. Here’s what I’ve learned.
Haters are looking at something they don’t like about themselves.
It’s not usually what I’ve said or done. Actually, I try pretty hard to be inclusive, not assume, and only speak for myself. Usually, they get upset about something that they assume, exclude, or make about themselves. That can be uncomfortable. In fact, when I’ve found myself hating on some good fortune of someone else, I pretty quickly shift into, “what is missing in myself or what do I need to examine about myself that I’m having a hard time being happy for them.”
Self-reflection is HHHHHAAAARRRRDDDD.
For me, standing back and trying to see what I could do better and then actually execute it the next time it comes up is really challenging. It’s so easy to swirl down that old dirt road of “they just don’t understand” or “no one is listening to me”. What’s not easy is understanding that they don’t have to understand me, only I do. And, so what if they aren’t listening-why am I wasting my breath instead of doing something productive for me. Showing myself love is also showing the haters love.
As a reformed hater (OK, I admit, sometimes I still swirl down the old dirt road), I am better equipped to brush off the criticism or misunderstanding by just remembering it’s not actually about me. There are so many stories and experiences that we have no idea about when people share. We get a select snippet of a thought and fill in our own gaps for the lifetime of experience within ourselves to draw our own conclusions.
Finally, why do we justify ourselves?
Why do we feel like we have to have qualifiers or explain why something is? I’m going to practice not giving into the urge of over explaining or justifying myself.
How do you respond to haters?
Stay well friends. You are important!
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