Denise here. I do this all day long so I’m going to start posting here to pass it on.
Are you struggling with your child’s behavior? Maybe they are anxious and struggling themselves with the different feelings associated with anxiety. Or, maybe they are feeding off the household tension that they feel on a subconscious level. It doesn’t matter what the underlying cause of their behaviors is, it’s still just behavior.
How to successfully treat any behavior
I know. There are so many ways out there that you are probably inundated with a whole bunch of information that you either heard, read, or googled. The method that I teach is simplistic but requires consistency which can be a challenge. It does not matter why the behavior is occurring (diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, anxiety, Autism, deaf, depression, Reactive Attachment Disorder, problems with sensory processing, or any other diagnosis you can throw out there). If I can successfully manage my 17 year old man child who has been diagnosed with sever autism, then trust me, you can manage your child’s behavior as well. I do not just tell you what I think might work. It works!
Step 1- STOP feeding into the behavior.
That means stop asking why they are feeling the way they are or asking how you feel when __________ behavior occurs. Or any of the millions of excuses we find to feed into the behavior. If you want behavior to continue then go ahead and give it all the energy you want. If you do not want the behavior to continue, then we stop giving it energy.
Step 2 Stop talking.
Yep, we as parents say way too much to our kids. We believe that the kiddos can understand what we are trying to communicate. It does not matter whether or not they understand what we are asking of them. The fact is that it does not have any influence over their behavior. Behavior is just behavior and the way behavior is changed is through this 5 step system.
Step 3 Do not take it personally.
I am not here to criticize your parenting ability in fact I am here to be in your corner and support you and tell you how much you ROCK at parenting. I myself am not a superstar parent- just ask the other twin, my daughter, who is also 17 and acts just like her MOTHER. Whatever happens when you start doing this, don’t take their response personal. Their response is not about you. It’s theirs. So, let that ish go and keep doing it.
Next post I’ll go into more so stay tuned.
As Shawna says, stay well friends, you are important.
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