January is a particularly hard month for me.
Both my parents transitioned in 2019. January 15th is my mom’s birthday and January 16th is my dad’s. January of 2019 was the last time I spoke with my mom. She left this plane 2/5-I think. I say I think because she fell and hit her head. While her body was still “alive”, I knew she had already left that vessel. Anyway, January always seems to bring the grief right to the surface.
Most of the time, it’s the sweet memories that get me choked up. Is it like that for anyone else? Then, it’s the stuff I wish they were able to share with me now. Whenever it happens, I try to be kind to myself. Whether I send a text to friend, get a cry out, or tell my boo I need a hug while I cry, I try to remember that it’s OK, I’ll be OK, and I’m still normal.
I find that being kind to myself and allowing the feelings to come out helps with it not building. It also helps when I’m reminded it’s OK to be sad. I am comforted by the friends who aren’t afraid to talk about my parents and tell me their own stories or remind me of events in mine.
One day, I would like to write a book about all the ways grief actually helped me. Grief was my vessel for remembering the most important things about life. It freed me from faking it. I just didn’t have any energy to be someone/something I wasn’t anymore. Grief is a high filtering process of people-those who remained in my life through all of it became even more precious to me. Those relationships are sacred to me. I want to hear from you. How do you get through your grief? What are your insights about grief?
Stay well, friends. You are important.